Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Here We Are Again

It's hard to put in to words the mix of emotions we're feeling during this pregnancy.  We are certainly overjoyed and so very thankful God has given us another chance and another baby. The circumstances of this one are almost exactly the same as they were this time last year.  In fact, my due date is almost the same exact day as it was with Baby Ryser...just a year later.  Cray. Z.

We are so very grateful for this pregnancy, but at the same time, we are very, very anxious.  Having a baby in itself can worry anyone, but when you've lost one at 18 weeks -  I feel like my fears have tripled.  It's more of just the heartbreak we felt that I never want to experience again.  There's still an ache we feel almost daily from this loss.

We did a lot of testing to try and find out what happened to our little one last March after we lost him.  They found a hematoma on my placenta which they believe was caused by a blood clotting disorder (Factor 5) that we now know I have.  I will be doing daily shots until after delivery, which helps ease our minds... at least a little bit.

We are praying steadfastily that this sweet little nugget is healthy and safe.  We are praying also for some type of peace during these next 5 months.  Each day is a new milestone for us.   I am really working on not being anxious.  I know we're doing everything we can & there literally is nothing else we can do but pray at this point.

This new pregnancy will never replace the baby we lost.  We know that.  There will always be a hole in my heart for Ryser.  This 3rd pregnancy brings a lot of hope and a lot of faith testing.

We're hoping a new baby is the next chapter in our story.  A sweet, snuggly new chapter where it ends with us bringing home our "rainbow" baby and a sibling for Cantley.  We so appreciate any prayers and positive vibes sent our way for a healthy pregnancy and for a healthy baby in July.

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