Saturday, January 23, 2016

Baby BooHeini #2: I can't believe I just typed that

I used to be annoyed with people like me.  People who "accidentally" got pregnant.  People who it happened for so seamlessly.  I would be happy for them, of course, but in the back of my mind I'd be thinking "wow, I wish I could get knocked up for free."

And now I am one of those people.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  We are pregnant with Baby BooHeini #2!!  Naturally.  The free way.  Unexpectedly.  Shocked.  Ecstatic. Disbelieving.  Thankful. We've gone through all realms of emotions.

We did IVF 17 months ago because we were told it was our only option to have children.  Our doctor wouldn't even let us try IUI (a less invasive and less expensive procedure) because we were "not good candidates".  Our chances were slim enough that our only chance of success was IVF.   So we did the meds, the shots, the procedures and our miracle baby, Cantley, finally arrived April of 2015.  He has been absolutely a joy and blessing in our lives.  We look at each other and think "is he real"??  He was definitely prayed for- on our knees at home, with our families huddled in a circle at church,  with friends who saw how desperately we wanted to be parents, strangers who happened upon our story- we had an abundance of prayer warriors on our side.  I think those prayers were so abundant in fact that they kind of spilled over onto this 2nd little miracle baby.  God was up there laughing thinking " want babies.  I'll give you babies."

We found out right after Cantley turned 7 months old.  I was feeling sick and was having major pregnancy brain (i.e.  locking my keys in my car TWICE, losing my Costco card INSIDE the store).  I took a test and it was negative.  Ok, that's happened so many times.  Not a big deal.  We were just wishful thinking that we could get pregnant on our own without even trying.  But wouldn't it be cool?  So we waited another week & the signs were all still there so I took another test and it immediately turned positive.  I could not believe my eyes.  How...who..wait what?!  I just put my head in my hands and did a weird/creepy laugh-cry-sob thing.  Then I walked out to a waiting Brett & Cantley and said "uhh it's positive".  Brett said "That's not funny, Megan.  Don't joke about that."  Then he looked at the test and jumped up and paced around the den for a good 5 minutes.  Then we both hugged and squished little squishy face Cantley and cried and laughed and celebrated with our little family of three, soon to be four.
What does this say? I don't know why this is here, so I'm just going to peel it off like so... :)

Once the shock and disbelief wore off a little bit, feelings of guilt started to creep in.  What about all those other couples who are still waiting on their miracle baby?   How were they going to feel when I announced we were pregnant naturally with our 2nd baby when so many are still waiting on their 1st?  What about the people who were going to think we should've just skipped the IVF and waited for it to happen on it's own?  A lot of these thoughts have been running through my mind over the last few weeks until I finally decided, you know what, no.  People who know our story know that at the time we did IVF, it was our only hope of having a baby.  They know we were told that there was an almost 0% chance of us conceiving naturally.  But the science of it all usually dis includes and does not attest for God's plan.  He knew our story and was waiting for it to unfold in His timing.  Even if that timing is spacing the babies 15 months apart.  :)   Hey, we'll take it.

We know that this may never happen again like this, and that's okay.  We still have 2 frozen embryos waiting to be used in a few years in the future, and they may not be transferred successfully, and that's okay.  We are just going to put our faith and trust in the Lord and know He is in control, and we don't have to be.  We are so so thankful, humbled, and excited about this baby and although having 2 kids is not something we planned for right now, we are very happy that we know Cantley will get to have a sibling.  Please pray for this sweet miracle baby as he or she continues to develop and grow.  And you know I have to give a shout out to my mamas reading this and thinking "why not me"?  Exactly.  Why not you?  Miracles happen every day.  Don't give up.  Keep trying.  God's got it.

 “Everything is possible for one who believes.”  -Mark 9:23